THE BIBLE AND KISSING

Hugo McCord

A kiss is “a touch or caress with the lips, often with some pressure or suction, as an act of affection, desire, greeting” (Webster).

I. FAMILY KISSING

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth,” says a bride to her bridegroom, and then she tells him, “Your love is better than wine” (Song of Solomon 1:2; cf. 8:1). When I performed the marriage ceremony for my granddaughter Danielle, I forgot, after their exchange of vows, to say to David, “Now you may kiss your bride.” However, they think the ceremony was legal anyway.

When Jacob first laid eyes on his cousin Rachel, he “kissed” her, “and lifted up his voice and wept” (Genesis 29:11). When Laban, Rachel’s father, first heard that his sister’s son Jacob was coming to his house, “he ran to meet him, and embraced him, and kissed him” (Genesis 29:13). When Laban was bidding his children good-bye he “kissed his sons and daughters, and blessed them” (Genesis 31:55).

When, after a long separation, Esau saw his brother Jacob, he “ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck, and kissed him” (Genesis 33:4).

Also after a long separation, Joseph “kissed all his brothers” (Genesis 45:15), eleven altogether. When Joseph took his two sons, Ephraim and Manasseh, to visit with their grandfather Jacob, the old gentleman “kissed” the boys “and embraced them” (Genesis 48:10). When Jacob died “Joseph fell upon his father’s face, and wept upon him, and kissed him” (Genesis 50:1).

When the Lord sent Aaron from Egypt into Arabia to meet with his brother Moses, he “met him in the mountain of God, and kissed him” (Exodus 4:27). When Moses went to visit with his father-in-law Jethro, he “bowed and kissed him” (Exodus 18:7).

Naomi, in saying farewell to her two daughters-in-law, Orpah and Ruth, “kissed them,” and “they lifted up their voices and wept” (Ruth 1:9). Orpah, in turn, “kissed” Naomi good-bye, while Ruth stayed with Naomi (Ruth 1:14).

After an estrangement, David “kissed Absalom” his son (2 Samuel 14:33).

When Elijah was told by the Lord to appoint Elisha as his successor, Elisha begged for a temporary delay: “Let me, I pray you, kiss my father and my mother, and then I will follow you” (1 Kings 19:20).

When the prodigal son was returning home, and “was yet far away, his father saw him and his heart went out to him; he ran and embraced him warmly and kissed him tenderly” (Luke 15:20). Luke does not use the usual word for a kiss, philema, in the father’s kissing his son, but kataphileo, meaning “to kiss fervently, affectionately” (Abbott-Smith), “to kiss much, kiss again and again, kiss tenderly” (Thayer).

II. KISSING IDOLS

At one time, about 878 B.C., Elijah thought that all of the ten tribes of Israel had forsaken the Lord, “and I, even I only, am left” (1 Kings 19:10) as a worshiper of Jehovah. But the Lord reassured the prophet, telling him of “seven thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth which has not kissed him” (1 Kings 19:18).

About a hundred years after the days of Elijah, Israel, in the time of Hosea (746-724) as a whole had become worshipers of Baal. They, said Hosea, “sin more and more, and have made them molten images of their silver, even idols,” and have taught the worshipers to “kiss the calves” (Hosea 13:1-2).

III. DECEITFUL KISSING

Because kissing is a sign of “affection” (Webster), it is no wonder that cheaters and liars sometimes kiss unsuspecting people to take advantage of them. Solomon wrote that “the kisses of an enemy” are “lavish” (Proverbs 27:6).

Solomon also described a scheming prostitute: “She hugs and kisses” a man as she says, “My bed, covered with colorful linen from Egypt, is ready. ... Come, let us satisfy ourselves in love until the morning” (Proverbs 7:13, 16, 18).

It was a deceitful kiss that Jacob gave to his father Isaac when Jacob was trying to take over his brother’s inheritance (Genesis 27:26-27).

Also Absalom was deceitful when, working to displace David, his father, as king, he began to kiss as many of David’s citizens as possible: “so Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel” (2 Samuel 15:5-6).

Also it was a deceitful kiss when “Joab took Amasa by the beard with his right hand to kiss him. But Amasa took no heed to the sword that was in Joab’s hand” (2 Samuel 20:9-10). Soon Amasa lay wallowing in his blood” (2 Samuel 20:12).

Judas Iscariot, to identify Jesus to a “large crowd” with “swords and clubs” in the garden of Gethsemane about midnight, “had given them a sign, saying, ‘The one I kiss, he is the man. Seize him and lead him away under guard’” (Mark 14:43-44). Then he “kissed him tenderly” (kataphileo, Mark 14:45).

IV. NON-LITERAL KISSING

The vividness of a kiss is perhaps the reason the word is used figuratively, as in Proverbs 24:26: “Righteous judgments are like a kiss on the lips.”

For a sinless man to allow himself to be nailed to a cross so that the heavenly Father in honesty could “remember our sins no more” (Hebrews 8:12) is touchingly described by a psalmist: “Kindness and truth meet together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other” (Psalm 85:10).

The gospel plan of salvation is pictured figuratively as a kiss: “Kiss the Son, lest he be angry and you perish in the way, for his wrath shortly will be burning. Happy are those who take refuge in him” (Psalm 2:12).

V. NON-FAMILY KISSING

God authorized the prophet Samuel to let Saul know that he would become Israel’s first king: “Samuel took a flask of oil and poured it on his head, and kissed him, saying, ‘Has not the Lord anointed you to be prince over his inheritance?’” (1 Samuel 10:1).

Jonathan, the king’s son, if selfish would have been jealous of David’s growing popularity, but something about David caused Jonathan to love David “as he loved his own soul” (1 Samuel 20:17). Jonathan, knowing his father was searching for David to kill him, secretly stole away to visit David. When he found him, “they kissed one another, and wept one with another, until David exceeded” (1 Samuel 20:41).

Barzillai, “a very aged man, even 80 years old,” provided David “with sustenance” when David and “the people who were with him” were “hungry, and weary, and thirsty in the wilderness” (2 Samuel 17:28-29; 19:32). David never forgot Barzillai’s kindness, and the last time David saw him, “the king kissed Barzillai, and blessed him” (2 Samuel 19:39).

A “woman who was a sinner” became a believer in Jesus and “loved” him “much” (Luke 7:37, 47). One day she “learned that Jesus” was a dinner guest in a certain man’s house (Luke 7:37). Apparently without an invitation, she “brought an albaster bottle of perfume,” and “tenderly kissed his feet and poured the perfume on them” (Luke 7:37-38). From the time that she arrived she did not stop “kissing” (Luke 7:45) Jesus’ feet.

At the close of Paul’s meeting with the elders of the Ephesian congregation in 58 A.D., they all kneeled and prayed and wept loudly (Acts 20:36). The elders, in saying good-bye, “fell on Paul’s neck, and they were kissing him tenderly” (Acts 20:37).

There was no law of God that commanded kissing either as a greeting or as a farewell, but such was customary. When Jesus entered a house where he had been invited to a meal, the custom was for the host to greet his guest with a kiss. On this occasion, Jesus noticed the lack of respect, and said to the host, “You gave me no kiss” (Luke 7:45).

The physical act of a kiss as a greeting or as a farewell could be abused, and could become a sexual experience or a loveless gesture. Accordingly, the inspired Paul taught Christians that their customary kissing was to be “holy” (Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; 2 Corinthians 13:12; 1 Thessalonians 5:26), not sexual. And the inspired Peter taught Christians that their customary kissing was to be a “kiss of love” (1 Peter 5:14), not physical only.

It is not surprising that kissing as a greeting among Christians was misused. Clement of Alexandria, who died about 220 A.D., wrote that “there are those that do nothing but make the churches resound with a kiss, not having love itself within. ... the shameless use of a kiss ... occasions foul suspicions and evil reports (apud Guy N. Woods, NEW TESTAMENT COMMENTARIES, i AND II PETER, I, II AND III JOHN, AND JUDE, p. 136).

Because the greeting kiss was abused, some congregations separated the sexes, and were instructed: “let the men give the men, and the women give the women, the Lord’s kiss” (ibid.).

“It should be noted that the apostle [speaking of Peter] did not enjoin kissing as a method of greeting; the custom already prevailed” (Ibid.). Before the church was established, as noted above, Jesus noticed that the customary greeting from a host to a guest was overlooked by his host (Luke 7:45).

In our day, a warm handshake tells a newcomer that he is welcome. A kiss as a greeting in most places today would be a shock, as Lois and I were when we visited the church in Rome in Italy on July 9, 1975. We were met at the door by a lady who gave both of us holy, loving kisses. Ida Partlow, of Portland, Oregon, has made two missionary trips to Albania. She says that there a kiss on both cheeks means that the newcomer “is accepted” into fellowship.

But if someone says that we are not following the Bible if we change greetings from kissing to handshaking. That person in the United States would also have to say he has changed the Bible word “king” into “president” in 1 Peter 2:17: “Honor all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.”

The well-meaning person who says that we are not following the Bible if we change greetings from kissing to handshaking would do well to study 1 Timothy 2:8: “I will that the men pray in every place, lifting up holy hands without anger and argument.” Are “holy hands” and a “holy kiss” parallel?

In Old Testament days often people lifted up their hands as they prayed (Psalm 28:2; 63:4; 134:2; 141:2; Lamentations 2:19), but hand lifting was not required as an accompaniment of prayer. Apparently Paul in 1 Timothy 2:8 was referring back to the zeal and love expressed by lifting up hands in prayer, and so was telling Christians that holy living must accompany their praying.

6-12-99