"EVER A TIME?"
Hugo McCord
A conscientious Christian lady who believes that "the man was not created for the woman, but the woman for the man" (1 Corinthians 11:9), a wife who for 56 years has been a devoted "helper" (‘ezer) for her husband, "meeting his needs" (kenegdo, Genesis 2:18), asks a question: "Is there ever a time when a wife should assume the headship of a home?" The answer is an emphatic "yes," especially the spiritual headship, for sometimes, unless the wife takes over, their is a complete vacuum of leadership, which means the devil is the head of that home (1 Peter 3:1-2).
Furthermore, even if a loving Christian husband has been in a home all that God planned, if he is a victim of Alzheimer’s disease, his wife, if she loves her husband and her children, is forced to be the head of the family.
For an entirely different reason Barbara Hudgins, of Placitas, New Mexico, with two children, was forced to take over all home responsibilities when her Christian husband, Ralph, was called overseas to Korea in military duty. Ralph left with the full assurance that Barbara would be a capable home manager. When he returned after two years, he could compliment Barbara for being both a mother and father.
In another example a young mother with three children could not have a good conscience, and would have been unworthy of the name Christian, if she had not assumed complete leadership of her family when her Christian husband, an employee of the electric power company, working on a power pole, was accidentally electrocuted.
The loss of a father in an early death may be the reason that Eunice, with her mother’s help, trained Timothy "from a child" to know "the holy Scriptures" (2 Timothy 1:5; 3:15).
However, another possibility is that Timothy’s father did not have an early death, but in living on he did not take the leadership in training his son "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (cf. Ephesians 6:4). If this possibility was factual, Eunice would not have been the kind of wife that God loves if she did not take over the spiritual leadership of her family. If she held back, that family spiritually was headless.
Of another example, Nyal D. Royse, professor emeritus of Harding University, a former dean of Columbia Christian College, writes:
My grandparents, A. J. and Mary Jane Royse, resided three miles west of Covington (Indiana) on the old Danville and Covington road. They had a large family. Grandmother was a Christian, but grandfather wished to have nothing to do with the church. Each Sunday morning she would get the horses up, put on the harness, hitch them to the wagon, and drive in to Covington for worship.
One bitter cold day Grandpap said to her, "Maw, you’re not going to take these children out in this cold weather, are you?" She replied, "Pap, we are going." She got the horses harnessed and hitched up and then went to the house to get the children ready. When she went out to go he had unharnessed the horses and turned them back out in the pasture. She sent the children to the house and went back out and got the horses and hitched them up and drove in to worship. Granddad never pulled that trick again.
Another real cold day he asked her again not to go. He got the same answer. He told her that he was going to drive them in, not because he wanted to, but he was ashamed for the neighbors to see her driving to town in the cold and know that he was home, comfortable by the fire. He drove them to Covington but said he would stay in the wagon. Before the service was over he almost froze and had to come in to get warm.
After that he drove them quite often and then all the time, but he would always sit alone on the back seat. One day he came walking down the aisle and was baptized. Grandmother died in 1922 and he died in 1933. For the eleven years he lived alone he was faithful to the end, thanks to a wife that took over the spiritual leadership of the family while he served Satan.
Nyal reports that five generations of Christians are the joyful products of the grit in the heart of his grandmother, Mary Jane Royse. From Paradise today she is smiling and anticipating the coming of those she caused to be children of God. Of them she can say,
What is [my] hope or joy or crown of exultation before our Lord Jesus at his coming? Is it not you? You are [my] glory and joy (1 Thessalonians 2:19-20).
In another example, a Christian mother of two in Gretna, Louisiana, Willie Fayette, had a clean-living husband, Al, who loved her and their children, but was uninterested in religion. He tolerated her church going with the children, but he asked her never again to ask him to go. Wisely, she refrained.
However, on her own, she subscribed for POWER FOR TODAY, and each morning at the breakfast table, she read the day’s devotional while the children listened, and Al just sat at the table. She led a prayer of thanksgiving for the food and asked God’s blessings on the day’s activities.
Willie’s assuming the spiritual leadership of her home had a lasting effect on the children, and also on her husband. "[W]ithout the word" he was converted and was baptized because of her daily manner of life (1 Peter 3:1-3). Today Al is a dedicated Christian, still the head of his family financially as always, but now the head of his family spiritually. He is a daily Bible reader, and in his retirement at Natchez, Mississippi, he is active in the jail ministry.
Callie Allison, an Indianapolis mother of seven sons and two daughters, had a backsliding husband. For years he stayed at home while Callie got the children ready and took them to all church services. She saw all of them baptized. One son has become an elder, and two became song leaders.
At Callie’s passing, her husband came to the funeral service, one Friday afternoon. On Sunday morning, for the first time in 30 years, he was at church. When the invitation song was sung, he walked down the aisle, and told the preacher, "Ask the church folks to pray for me. I want to be restored. When I die I want to go where Callie is."