Are all of an elder’s children to be obedient at home and after they leave home?

To contend that a black sheep disqualifies an elder who had taught all of his children the same things is to disqualify God as a parent: "Hear, O heavens, and listen, O earth; for the Lord has spoken: I reared children and brought them up, but they have rebelled against me" (Isaiah 1:2).

In the absence of specific Bible instruction on this subject, we must use human judgment. That judgment must take into account the influence that such an elder has, both among outsiders and church members.

In a recent example, a godly elder who had brought up two boys in the faith, both being baptized at about age 12, now has the grief that one, after leaving home and marrying, has become unfaithful. The elder telephoned me. I told him that his influence must be the deciding factor. He decided he would resign as an elder, and did so. In his case, I think he was mistaken. His determination to be absolutely right, to leave no room for any criticism of his Lord’s church, caused his decision. He and his wife and the other son are trustworthy and faithful Christians, and his influence is still excellent with all who know him, both in the church and out, and he is much loved by the congregation. Even though he is still active in all church activities, his resignation hurt the church. I hope yet he will reconsider. The congregation needs him as an elder.